‘But now you’re walkin’ around like you’re front page news
You’ve been awful careful ’bout the friends you choose
But you won’t find my name in your book of who’s who
I-I-I-I-I’m not your steppin’ stone (No!)’
These were the words sung by The Monkees in 1967 and revived by Ant and Dec’s ‘Byker Grove’ characters PJ and Duncan in 1996. The theme of the song was a young man refusing to be used by a girl to further her own ambitions. How pertinent those words are as we’re about to embark upon one of the most bizarre chapters in modern British political history. For the voters of Makerfield near Wigan have a question to answer: Do they have such little self-respect and respect for their constituency that they’re prepared to prostitute both in order to fulfil Andy Burnham’s egotistical self-gratification? For that’s what I’m talking about here. Andy Burnham has no more love for Makerfield than he would have had for any other constituency with a MP willing to stand aside to facilitate his Prime Ministerial crusade. He was even touted as a candidate in Norwich South at one point, but current member Clive Lewis decided his career hadn’t yet reached peak race baiting and ethnic self-pity.
Let’s get the formalities out of the way first. For those of you unfamiliar with northern England, Makerfield in not a town or village in its own right. It is a suffix of two notable towns – Ince and Ashton – and the area also includes the south-western part of Wigan itself, as well as the settlements of Hindley and Winstanley. Absorbed into the newly-formed metropolitan county of Greater Manchester in 1974, it became part of Andy Burnham’s patch when he was elected as the Greater Manchester Mayor in 2017. Burnham has acquired a certain cachet in local media circles (believe me, it’s more spin than reality!) as the man who has done wonders in promoting Manchester and its surrounding area on the world stage. Having always declared his devotion to the job, the rest of us found out his true level of mayoral loyalty when he was cleared to run as Makerfield’s Labour candidate. If he triumphs in the forthcoming by-election (if there IS a God, he won’t!), it’ll be “goodbye” to the relative parochialism of local devolved politics, and “greetings” (with all the sarcastic insincerity of Joey Boswell) to the bright lights of London. From there he will launch his bid to usurp Keir Starmer and replace him as the next occupant of 10 Downing Street. Continuity socialist misery with a Scouse accent thrown in.
On a positive note, Makerfield made its position clear on the current state of Starmer and his posse in this month’s local elections. An area that had been solidly Labour since its formation in 1983, Makerfield voted 50.5% for Reform, 22.7% Labour, and only 9.9% for the Conservatives. It meant that Reform won every single ward in that part of Wigan borough that falls within the Makerfield constituency. Additionally, Makerfield has a very solid Brexit pedigree, coupled with an overwhelmingly White British demographic profile. It is to be hoped enough of them see through Burnham as nothing more than a metropolitan chancer pushing a prescription of socialist medicine on a country long past tolerance for such things. Burnham will have to campaign on a platform of being the anti-establishment candidate (which he isn’t), and he’ll attempt to distance himself from the current woes of Labour under Starmer (which he can’t). Keir Starmer has said he will campaign for Burnham in Makerfield, knowing full well a triumph will almost certainly mean the end of his own political career. I struggle to remember a bloodless coup more outré than this one. Yes, I recall several PMs being toppled by insurgents, but they were all SITTING members of the House of Commons. I have never known a situation where a potential new leader has to get to that position on the back of a by-election in which a current party leader is championing him. Confused? I sure as hell am!
Perhaps the majority of voters will see sense by rejecting this charlatan. It could be they’ll remember Burnham’s efforts to ape Sadistic Khan in London by proposing an equivalent ULEZ zone for the whole of Greater Manchester, only to secretly scrap it by claiming it was ‘Under Review’…..indefinitely. It may be that they’ve ventured into Manchester city centre on a weekend to find themselves confronted by feral youths, a makeshift ‘favela’ tent city adjacent to the Central Library, or scenes of migrant criminality in Piccdilly Gardens that wouldn’t look out of place in the Middle East or North Africa. If they think back far enough, they might recall Burnham was the only Health Secretary ever to sell an NHS hospital to the private sector. Or, if they really wish to plumb the depths of Burnham’s failure as Mayor, they’ll analyse the fiasco over Operation Augusta. Having initially showed a smidgin of bravery by reopening scrutiny of the plague of Islamic grooming gangs in the area, Burnham ultimately failed to confront ongoing problems in the system and was never committed in his pursuit of justice for those responsible. In other words, Burnham placed political ambition before moral obligation. With Makerfield, he’s doing the same once again, just in a different context.
I never tire of saying I don’t recognise my country much anymore. Andy Burnham was a part of a political clique whose worldview is largely responsible for the low calibre of both politics and society we have to live in now. If the voters of Makerfield are so myopic as to reward a lifetime of failure with the keys to the Kingdom, they will not only have let themselves down, they will have sacrificed millions of their fellow working class Brits who long to be free of the shackles this atrocious government have imposed upon them. The forthcoming by-election is the only one I can think of where, either way, the consequences for national politics will be momentous. Voters need to think long and hard before they enter those polling booths on the day in question. Don’t be Burnham’s stepping stone.
I will be away in Italy over the next few weeks. I will return on Saturday, June 20th.
